Tonight is a huge night. As you know it's The State Of The Union Address. TSOTUA for short, or the name for Manti T'eo's other imaginary girlfriend. TSOTUA is always a big deal for the country but tonight it's especially big! Because for the first time since 2005 Barack Obama will be reading someone else's words. Well I mean the teleprompter always has someone else's words or his speeches would sound like how he speaks. Uh...ah....umm. It has always been a guy named Jon Favreau writing the speeches. But Jon quit last week. David Axelrod is trying to play it down but did concede "Jon's finger prints are all over Barack's greatest speeches". Obama himself commented on Jon "He has become a friend and a collaborator on virtually every major speech I've given in the Senate, on the campaign trail and in the White House."
So Jon is off to Hollywood to write movies and TV shows. He has been amazing so who will fill his shoes? Say hello to Cody Keenan. This was Cody a few days ago looking at some Obama thoughts so he can turn them in to speech making gold!
I thought we could help the Codester out. Jon had mastered the art of taking unpopular things and making them popular. So let's look at some things the President wants done and then a way for him to say it tonight.
Abolish the 2nd amendment . Translation: "I want to make American's safer, by keeping guns out of criminal' hands. We have here tonight a lady who lost her daughter to senseless gun violence. You all no doubt were as impressed as I was with the amazing talents of 15 year old Hadiya Pendleton who graced us with her beautiful voice at my inauguration. Just a few days later gang members shot her to death. Mrs Pendleton I am so sorry for your loss. And I told her privatly and I will declare publicly 'we can do better'. We must do better for all of our children! And we start saving lives the minute we sign the Assault Weapons ban. I hope you all will contact your elected officials and let them know that you want to save others from the pain that Mrs Pendleton has had to go through.
Give amnesty to all illegal aliens so they will become lifelong Democrats. Translation: "Help people who are already making an incredible contribution to our country, achieve the American Dream like so many of our ancestors were able to do. Let's stop punishing the people whose only crime is wanting to work hard to make this a better country".
Increase government spending while already 16 trillion in debt. Translation: "The reckless reactionary thing to do would be cut government spending at a time when so much of our economy is dependent on it. We all know that small business is the engine of our economy but sometimes an engine needs a jump start. My friends in Chicago can tell you when you come out to go to work in the morning and the car won't start...that's the time to call for some help. Someone who can jump start your engine. Once the engine is back up and running you can get back to work. We are still trying to jump start this engine because someone left it dead for a long time before we got here".
Those are just 3 ideas to help Cody take the President's horrific ideas and make them appear reasonable. The key is to always make the other side seem crazy. Whatever you do don't look directly at his ideas, because they, like the sun, can blind you. It would be reckless to stop spending when you're 16 trillion in the hole. The 2nd ammendment is killing children. People breaking in to our country are only here to help us. If you really thought about what he was asking you to help him sell you would probably quit too. And lord knows Obama already has enough of an unemployment problem!